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This is a photo of my actual refridgerator door, taken by Cynthia Cowdrey, and all those pictures are called the driver series. I don't drive. So, I take pictures of all the people who tote me around.   

 

Book list

The Schopenhauer Cure

The Founding Fish - McPhee

The Center of Winter -Hornbacher

Fat Girl - Judith Moore

Lolita, Pnin, Pale Fire - Nabokov

The Joy of Knitting - Myers

The Knitting Sutra -Lydon

Stitch and Bitch - Stoller

The Palace of the White Skunks -Reinaldo Arenas

Singing From The Well - Reinaldo Arenas

Reading Lolita In Tehran - Azar Nafisi

Cosmopolis - Don DeLillo

Colette - Julia Kristeva

Melanie Klein - Julia Kristeva

Hannah Arent - Julia Kristeva

The Writing Notebooks -Helene Cixous

The Midnight Disease -Alice W Flarhety

The Spiral Staircase - Karen Armstrong

Truth and Beauty - Ann Patchett

Brick Lane -Monica Ali

A Terrible Love of War -James Hillman

The Diary of Anais Nin, Volumn 1

Camus and Sartre - Ronald Aronson

Death Comes For The Arch Bishop - Willa Cather

Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison

Couldn't Keep It To Myself -Wally Lamb

Limbo - Alfred Lubrano

Exile and the Kingdom -Albert Camus

The Fall - Albert Camus

The Myth Of Sisyphus -Albert Camus

The Stranger -Albert Camus

The First Man -Albert Camus

Love- Toni Morrison

Paradise -Toni Morrison

Jazz- Toni Morrison

Beloved -Toni Morrison

Tar Baby - Toni Morrison

Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison

Sula - Toni Morrison

The Bluest Eye -Toni Morrison

Big Fat Lies - Glenn Gaesser

So Many Books, So Little Time - Sara Nelson

Living To Tell the Tale - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Dude Where's My Country - Michael Moore

Where I Was From - Joan Didion

Women Who Eat -Leslie Miller

The Middle Mind - Curtis White

Serendipities - Umberto Eco

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night -Mark Haddon

Earth and Ashes - Atiq Rahimi

Philosophy in a Time of Terror - Giovanna Borradori

The Zanzibar Chest - Aidan Hartley

Reading Chekhov - Janet Malcom

The Portable Chekhov

Elegy for Kosovo -Ishmail Kadare

The Three Arched Bridge -Ishmail Kadare

Ex Libris - Anne Fadimen

Abandon -Pico Ayer

First Days of the Year - Helene Cixous

The Managed Heart - Arlie Russell Hochscild

Fire of Transformation - Gaura Devi

The Book of Salt - Monigue Truong

Stories of God - Rainer Maria Rilke

A Hundred Camels in the Courtyard - Paul Bowles

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

The Hemingway Book Club of Kosovo - Paula Huntley

The Liars Club - Mary Karr

Global Woman - Barbara Ehrenreich Kay Shara Arlie Hochschild

Autobiography of a Face - Lucy Grealy

The Phantom Tollbooth - Norton Juster

Arts of the Possible - Adrienne Rich

Loot - Nadine Gordimer

Negotiating With The Dead - Margaret Atwood

Naked in The Promised Land - Lillian Faderman

War Talk -Arundhati Roy

A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

Regarding the Pain of Others - Susan Sontag

For the Time Being -Annie Dillard

Distortion - Steven Beachy

The Fruitful Darkness - Joan Halifax

John Henry Days -Colson Whitehead

The Piano Tuner -Daniel Phillipe Mason

The Future of Peace -Scott A Hunt

Life of Pi - Yann Martel

Don't Lets Go to the Dogs Tonight - Alexandra Fuller

The Intuitionist - Colson Whitehead

The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

Great Books - David Denby

How To Travel With a Salmon - Umberto Eco

Mc Sweeney's 8

Creative Nonfiction

The Women - Hilton Als

Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage  - Alice Munro

I'm The One That I Want - Margaret Cho

Talk Stories   - Jamaia Kincaid

Small Pieces Loosely Joined -David Weinberger

My Wars Are Laid Away in Books -Alfred Habegger

Bee Season - Myla Goldberg

Fugitive Pieces - Anne Michaels

Small Wonder -Barbara Kingsolver

The Power Book -Jennette Winterson

Ben In The World -Doris Lessing

Growing Up X - Ilyasha Shabazz

The Fifth Child -Doris Lessing

Tripmaster Monkey - Maxine Hong Kingston

The Song Lines -Bruce Chatwin

In Patagonia -Bruce Chatwin

Mc Sweeney's 7

Waiting For The Barbarians - J.M. Coetzee

July's People - Nadine Gordimer

Wanderlust  - Rebecca Solnit

Wake Up I'm Fat - Camryn Manheim

Trilogy   - HD

The Archivist -Martha Cooley

All About Love - belle hooks

Four Quartets - TS Elliot

Selected Cantos -Ezra Pound

A Farewell to Arms - Ernest Heminway

Incidents in the Life of A Slave Girl - Harriet Jacobs

The Better Angel  - Roy Morris     

Playing in the Dark  -Toni Morrison

Skin -Dorothy Allison

Girl With A Pearl Earring - Tracy Chevalier

Slaughterhouse-Five -Kurt Vonnegut

The Way Forward Is with a Broken Heart  -AliceWalker

The Things They Carried -Tim O'Brien

Long Walk to Freedom  - Nelson Mandela

Zaftig -Hanne Blank

Political Fictions -Joan Didion

The Situation and the Story  -Vivian Gorick

San Francisco Beat -David Meltzer

sixty-seven poems for downtrodden saints -Jack Micheline

Reflections on Exile  - Edward Said

Hanna Arent - Julia Kristeva

Best American Essays  -Joyce Carol Oates

Dispensing With The Truth   -Alicia Mundy

 

 

Here's the story  on  the name  Fatshadow.

When I was living in Boulder, Colorado I put together a  rock and  roll band. My friend James Tuttle,   who was the sound engineer   for  the Mark  Hallman  band, told me that while he was making a poster for   a gig  he  found  a print type called Fatshadow. He wanted Mark to call the band,  or at least  the rhythm section, Fatshadow. I more or less  stole  it  (but Mark said I could!)

 

Being fat has been a  central  fact  in my quest for understanding  of  why I am who I am. That  may be because  I  am fat in America in this  time.  There are places where  being fat isn't a negative experience. There were  times when being fat  was beautiful. Right here, right now, I am fat.  

 

The media continues to feed us toxic images of beauty. Toxic because they send  people running to obtain dangerous surgeries, enduring unhealthy diet trends, starving themselves, suffering isolation and public humiliation.


There is the Jungian notion of a shadow part of our self in which we hold our secrets, fears, longing, those things of which we are only partially conscious or completely unconscious. I like to think that mine is fat and full of mystery.

 

 

 

 

 

when a girl at the bus stop asks me if the bus just left and what scent am I

wearing because she likes it it reminds her of her GRANDmother I can hardly

 

form

a sentence because

even the fact of her speaking

has broken the vellum between

 

noticing that that place has closed where he used to go I was there with him

he came right to me because he saw that I was UNcomfortable and Marie said

 

GOD YOUR EYES.

 

I am pushed against my skin

craning toward magnificence

bull-like imposing

I hold back

 

I can only do this if I pretend I’m talking to you because I know you’ll understand

the ATTEMPT even some of the content I need some of the content to be

 

clear 

to someone 

 

it is too difficult to not not impose my own rhythm which imagines that I have a

rhythm which I do not have at least in any conscious or INTENT kind of way.

 

disquisition

very fragile

if anyone says ANYTHING

DON’T say anything

 

unless but I would like to know if you like it or if it’s OK or makes sense or had

had an obvious original INTENT which of course only I would know but I don’t

 

say nothing.

no

but really

 

Tish 11/15

 

 

The Red Spider
so much depends
on the small red spider
crawling the circumference
of a lost silver
Public Storage key
left glinting
on the ground
outside the poetry workshop

 

here
it is the spider
who unlocks
the cold bins
of put away things
who calls us out
onto the thin
crimson web of words
where we might catch
our private winged losses
and hold them close
against our heated cheeks
until they glow into
hot communal embers
that warm the tribe
of the found

 

-Kristina Krause